Monday, January 28, 2008

Queries Take Three!

So it is totally blizzarding at my house. I haven’t seen a storm like this in all the winters we’ve been in Utah! (Five now.) I’ve seen storms like this in Idaho, but that’s why I don’t live in Idaho.;) I went to get my mail a few minutes ago and my door was frozen shut!! I had to pull really hard to even get it open! It took me about three tries! Yuck. I don’t like snow.

Okay, this is our last query workshop. It was suggested in the comments that I do Pride and Prejudice and although I like and appreciate the suggestion, P&P is popular now because it is a classic. As-is, it would not sell in today’s market and the whole point of a query is to present the marketability of your story. So thank you for the suggestion! . . . But I’m going to do something else.;) I’m thinking Libba Bray’s A Great and Terrible Beauty.



*Disclaimer: This work belongs entirely to Libba Bray and even though I will be writing this query from a first person point of view, this is no indication that the work in question belongs to me at all.;)*

We’ll start with the basic, “what is this book about” paragraph.

When Gemma Doyle’s mother dies, Gemma is sent to a finishing school in London. At first she is an outcast, but eventually she a three other girls form a tight friendship. Gemma has been having strange visions and while she is out visiting a cave she finds the diary of a young woman who attended her school 25 years before who had similar visions. The girl was a member of “The Order” and as Gemma begins reading the diary, she and her friends set up their own club. Little do they know that their predecessors committed terrible acts of violence and betrayal. Gemma discovers that her “visions” allow her to step into another realm where she brings her friends and finds her mother. But the further Gemma gets into the diary, the more evil and danger she discovers till she finds out a terrible secret about her mother and is forced to leave one of her friends in the other realm.

The nice thing about this book is that it is so unique and interesting that it is hard to write a bad query about it. Even this fairly flat recitation of events is interesting. But just because your basic synopsis can be interesting doesn’t mean that you should settle for it. So now we are going to highlight the unique elements.

When Gemma Doyle’s mother commits suicide, Gemma’s laudanum-addicted father sends her to an old finishing school in London. Originally shunned as an outsider, Gemma soon forms a fast friendship with three other girls with whom she shares her greatest secret; that she has been having strange visions. Soon the girls discover an old journal and the power to pass into a strange spirit realm where—to Gemma’s surprise—they discover her mother, trapped between earth and the afterlife. Within this new realm the girls are granted the deepest wishes of their heart: love, beauty, self-knowledge, power. But both the new realm and the journal reveal a darker side as well. A dark goddess, a not-so-accidental fire, a forgotten murder.
Ooh, I like this one! But let’s add some voice and let’s not forget to let the agent know that we are dealing with a different time period.

In the late nineteenth century a young woman’s ability to pass into another realm not only reveals evils in the past, but forces four young ladies at Spence Academy to choose between reality and a place where the deepest wishes of their hearts are granted.

When Gemma Doyle’s mother commits suicide she is sent to Spence Academy to become a distinguished young lady. At first Gemma is an outcast, but a fortuitous bit of blackmail soon nets her four fast friends with whom she shares her greatest secret; that she has been having strange visions. The discovery of a 25 year old diary reveals stunning secrets to the friends. Another girl with visions, a tragic fire, a secret society. The girls set up their own secret society and discover that Gemma’s “visions” allow them to pass into another realm full of the spirits of the dead where each girl receives great magic—beauty, love, self-knowledge, and power. And even better, Gemma’s mother is there. But as the diary continues to reveal its dark secrets—secrets that are twisted up in Gemma’s mother’s past as well—the girls begin to see the consequences of their choices leak into the real world. And with it comes the wrath of an evil sorceress.


Hmmm. I think that works. Mind you, I haven’t spent nearly as long on this as my personal pitches, but I hope you are getting the idea of how I go about the process.

For the last part we’re going to add a commercial pitch and finish our query.

Dear Agent,


In the late nineteenth century a young woman’s ability to pass into another realm not only reveals evils in the past, but forces four young ladies at Spence Academy to choose between reality and a place where the deepest wishes of their hearts are granted.

When Gemma Doyle’s mother commits suicide she is sent to Spence Academy to become a distinguished young lady. At first Gemma is an outcast, but a fortuitous bit of blackmail soon nets her four fast friends with whom she shares her greatest secret; that she has been having strange visions. The discovery of a 25 year old diary reveals stunning secrets to the friends. Another girl with visions, a tragic fire, a secret society. The girls set up their own secret society and discover that Gemma’s “visions” allow them to pass into another realm full of the spirits of the dead where each girl receives great magic—beauty, love, self-knowledge, and power. And even better, Gemma’s mother is there. But as the diary continues to reveal its dark secrets—secrets that are twisted up in Gemma’s mother’s past as well—the girls begin to see the consequences of their choices leak into the real world. And with it comes the wrath of an evil sorceress.

The Victorian era frames this dark, paranormal Young Adult novel that questions family ties, the worth of life, and the consequences of dreams come true. The manuscript is complete at 100,000 words and available for your perusal. Thanks etc.

Wannabe Libba 

We’ll sum-up next time.:)

Ciao!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

C'est l'amour.

Romance is difficult to query because, let's face it, we all know how it's going to end. The hero gets the heroine. It's called the HEA (Happily Ever After.) Just like you know there's going to be some form of magic something-or-other in fantasy, chic-lit will feature a female protagonist, mystery will involve a crime that has to be solved, and romance ends with Happily Ever After. Which is fine! But it means that you are at a bit of a disadvantage on the plot-front. So pulling together a flat, plot-based query pitch is going to turn out something like this. (And please excuse the lack of French symbols, I haven't figured out how they work on Blogger yet.:))

Adele is in love with Philippe, but when her father loses his fortune, the only way to save her family is to be married to one of the richest men in Europe, Jean-Michel St. Jacques. After a few months of marriage Adele is happy, and maybe even falling in love with her new husband. But when his affection suddenly disappears, and Philippe sends her a desperate letter, she wonders if she's made a huge mistake.

Can anyone name all the cliche's in that paragraph? Why? Because every romance story has been told in one way or another. With Romance, as well as several other specific genres, it's about putting a new twist on things. So maybe you try something like this.

When her father loses his fortune, Adele is forced to leave her secret lover, Philippe, and marry the unsuspecting but very wealthy rogue, Jean-Michel St. Jacques. But despite her heartache, she finds herself falling in love with the charming, if rakish, Basqueman who sweeps her away to a country she's scarcely even read about. Tentative affection begins to blossom between Adele and the man who never wanted to marry for love and when Adele discovers she's pregnant she has every expectation of happiness. But when Jean-Michel's affection suddenly vanish and Philippe reaches out to her, offering his still-loyal heart, Adele must decide which life she truly wants.

Better, I think. But like in my last post, we need to add some voice. Voice means so much in Romance. This particular novel is a little bit literary with a lush setting and a healthy chunk of history and culture in it. So I'm going to highlight that, flesh out the plot a little, and add a one-sentence hook at the beginning.

Married and very pregnant, Adele St. Jacques must choose between her roguish husband, who has taught her of the fires of love and the bitterness of betrayal, and her forbidden paramour, who extends his long-faithful love in her time of need.

On the eve of her eighteenth birthday Adele is wed to the rich but wild Basqueman, Jean-Michel, to pay off her father's business debts. Her hearts rips in two as she is torn from her love, Philippe, just weeks before their planned elopement. But Adele's body and soul take a wild ride as the young bride and groom find the last thing either expected—love. Though Adele's heart still pines for Philippe, she is satisfied with her new home. When she discovers she is carrying Jean-Michel's child, Adele is sure she has been blessed with a good life.

But as the child within Adele grows, Jean-Michel's love seems to wither till his blatant betrayal provokes Adele to seek comfort from her childhood sweetheart. Philippe offers Adele his heart—which he has kept only for her—if she will run away and start a new life with him and her child. But a local fortune teller's warning that Adele has let an evil man into her heart may not refer to Jean-Michel after all. Who is the lover and who the monster?


Do you get a sense of the voice? Now we're going to look at the specific marketability of this particular book and tack a sales pitch onto the end to complete our query.

Dear Agent,

Married and very pregnant, Adele St. Jacques must choose between her roguish husband, who has taught her of the fires of love and the bitterness of betrayal, and her forbidden paramour, who extends his long-faithful love in her time of need.

On the eve of her eighteenth birthday Adele is wed to the rich but wild Basqueman, Jean-Michel, to pay off her father's business debts. Her hearts rips in two as she is torn from her love, Philippe, just weeks before their planned elopement. But Adele's body and soul take a wild ride as the young bride and groom find the last thing either expected—love. Though Adele's heart still pines for Philippe, she is satisfied with her new home. When she discovers she is carrying Jean-Michel's child, Adele is sure she has been blessed with a good life.

But as the child within Adele grows, Jean-Michel's love seems to wither till his blatant betrayal provokes Adele to seek comfort from her childhood sweetheart. Philippe offers Adele his heart—which he has kept only for her—if she will run away and start a new life with him and her child. But a local fortune teller's warning that Adele has let an evil man into her heart may not refer to Jean-Michel after all. Who is the lover and who the monster?

Set in seventeenth century Basque, this 100,000 word romance is a delightful peek into French and Basque culture through historical and cultural exploration intertwined with a love story featuring loyalty and disguise. This stand-alone novel can begin a generational series that follows the French/Basque history. The completed manuscript is available for your review. Thanks etc.

Aprilynne



Now, when I was marketing this book to agents, it was NOT ready. I jumped too soon and sent out a book that needed at least two revisions. So needless to say, the book itself didn't net me an agent, but the query letter netted me a 75% request rate. Not too shabby. It's a book I still would like to dust off, rewrite, and submit one day.

But not today.:)

Ciao!

Oh, and David and Pat, a doula is a professional childbirth coach.:) It's one of my passions in life. I adore doing it!

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Queries It Is!

And Democracy rules again.;)

Although some authors do choose to submit directly to publishers, the best way, in my opinion, to get published by one of the larger publishers (and this should answer Tristi's question) is to get an agent. The reasons why are myriad and not really the point of todays post--that and listing those reasons tends to lead to fan-girly gushing about how much I love and adore my fabulous agent and, really, no one wants to see that.;) Today the focus is on how to get an agent and in general the answer is: the query.

Oh yes, the scary one page letter by which your 300 page baby will be judged. A lot of new authors really have a hard time with this concept. They say, "But you have to read my whole book to really appreciate it and understand it." I don't think anyone's book is quite that complicated. Personally, I believe the key to writing a good query letter is YOU being able to really understand your book.

If you are trying to get published, you have to look at your book as a product. You are trying to sell a product to a manufacturer. Yes, it's your baby, yes, you love and adore it, but you have to be able to look at it from a marketing perspective if you want to sell it.

The key to a good query is being able to correctly answer the question, what makes my book unique. My apologies for people who are super curious about Autumn Wings but because I am in contract negotiations right now, I don't feel comfortable discussing it plot-wise at the moment. So I am going to focus this post on my other YA project that I hope to pitch to my editor after my faeries series. (Yanno, in like, five years.;))

The biggest mistake that I feel writers make when sitting down to write a query is that they say, "Okay, now what is my book about?" The problem with that is that you end up with a pitch paragraph that reads like this:

"Jeff is a new student at an upper-class private school. On his first day he meets a girl who he discovers is a ghost that only he can see. But in order for Kimberlee to move on, she needs the help that only Jeff can give. Together they must right Kimberlee's wrongs, and make peace with her number one enemy; the girl Jeff is falling for."

Can anyone else say snooze? How many books in the world could this describe? Really. Except for the names, and maybe a gender switch, this pitch could describe about fifty books . . . and that's just the ones published in the last five years or so.

So step two is to think, "What about my story line makes it special?" So then maybe we get something like this:

"Jeff moves to a prissy new private school and on the first day he meets a girl he soon discovers is dead, but he's the only one who can see her. The problem is, in life she was not only mean and sadistic, she was also a kleptomaniac and has an enormous stash of stolen goods that need to be returned. Jeff reluctantly agrees to help, but when the enmity between Kimberlee and Jeff's new girlfriend manages to extend posthumously, Jeff's not so sure he made the right choice."

Better. We have some unique elements now. But it's not very catchy, is it? What are we missing? How about some voice? For this, you have to look at what kind of book you have. This particular book has a sarcastic, witty voice that moves quickly and has subtle humor. I'd like that to show in my query. So maybe now we end up with this. (Some of you may recognize this pitch.)

"Moving to a new high school sucks. Especially a rich-kid private school. With uniforms. But nothing is worse than finding out the first girl you meet is dead. And a klepto.

Jeff walks into his new school and finds Kimberlee (with two 'E's and don't you forget it!) in the hall. Well, on the hall floor. Chewing gum. What else is a clueless ghost stuck in limbo supposed to do? No one can see or hear Kimberlee except Jeff and, threatened with Kimberlee turning his life into total chaos, he agrees to help her complete her "unfinished business," which is to return a few things. What could it hurt? But an entire cave full of kyped merchandise is not what Jeff signed up for. After several run-ins with Kimberlee's so-called friends and being escorted home by the sheriff, Jeff is overjoyed when the cave is empty and Kimberlee can be on her ghostly way. So why isn't she gone?"

There we go, much better. Now wait a second, we lost the new girlfriend part! That was interesting! Yeah, I think so too. But the other hard part about writing a query is choosing the MOST important and interesting parts. The basis of the plot is the issues between Jeff and Kimberlee, so for my short pitch, that's what I needed to focus on. Remember, longer pitches are not better, they're simply longer.

Now, at this point we have a working pitch, but I like to put on my marketing hat and add another touch or two. Now we have a plot, what makes the book special and unique, and a sample of the voice. How about adding what makes your book particularly sell-able? Just a detail or two that an agent could use to pitch to an editor and you have your final query letter.

"Dear Agent,

Moving to a new high school sucks. Especially a rich-kid private school. With uniforms. But nothing is worse than finding out the first girl you meet is dead. And a klepto.

Jeff walks into his new school and finds Kimberlee (with two 'E's and don't you forget it!) in the hall. Well, on the hall floor. Chewing gum. What else is a clueless ghost stuck in limbo supposed to do? No one can see or hear Kimberlee except Jeff and, threatened with Kimberlee turning his life into total chaos, he agrees to help her complete her "unfinished business," which is to return a few things. What could it hurt? But an entire cave full of kyped merchandise is not what Jeff signed up for. After several run-ins with Kimberlee's so-called friends and being escorted home by the sheriff, Jeff is overjoyed when the cave is empty and Kimberlee can be on her ghostly way. So why isn't she gone?

Clash meets sass in this modern retelling of Baroness Orczy's The Scarlet Pimpernel for the young adult audience. The completed 80,000 word manuscript is available for your review. Thanks, etc.

Aprilynne Pike

Don't see how The Scarlet Pimpernel fits in? Curious about it? Good; that's the point.:) Don't tell too much, don't tell too little. It's a fine line. It should make the agent curious, but not frustrated. Takes practice, trust me.

Next week I'll do this same thing with my romance novel, and later I'll do it with an already published book. If you have any suggestions for which book we should do, please say so in your comment.:)

Ciao!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Look at Me! I'm an Expert.

*Snort* or, yanno, NOT! I've been thinking about what to blog on this week and am having trouble coming up with anything. A ton of authors whose blogs I frequent blog about writing. (Plot, characterization, dialogue, pacing, etc.) I don't feel like I really have the right to do that because my books, although under contract, haven't been published. I can't do much blogging on the process of being published because in terms of that particular swimming pool, I'me just barely getting my toes wet. I can talk about writing a good query because--at least judging by my request rates and *coughcough* Miss Snark--I write me a good query.;) But in the end, I didn't get my agent by querying. So I guess I'm opening it up to you guys. What do you like to read about on blogs? Do you have questions for me? What would you like to see more of on this blog? If you give me some good suggestions/questions I promise not to ask again for like six months . . . and by then I should have enough exciting things happening that I won't need suggestions. (One can only hope.;))

Thanks!

Ciao!

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Writing Under Contract

If there's one thing I've learned about becoming a professional author, it's that it's not really what I thought it would. I've said it before and I'll say it many more times in the next many years, I'm sure; I have the best job in the world. But there are some interesting aspects that I had never really considered. One of them is writing under contract.

I am contracted to write four books for HarperCollins. The first, of course, is finished. (Well, we haven't done all the editing yet, but the manuscript was as complete as I could make it at the time of the sale.:)) That leaves me three more books to write that are already partially paid for. On the one hand, this offers me a ton of security. The idea gets debated a lot, but I am very convinced that multiple book-deals are a good thing for debut authors. It gives you a chance to get your career going without feeling like you have to be a blockbuster with your first book. Most books gain popularity as they go and even bestselling series sometimes don't actually hit the lists until the second or even third book. I've got four books to really get my career off the ground. The better I can do with book one the more likely it becomes that said launch will happen, but for me there is a lot less stress over things I can't control when I know my whole series is going to be published.

What I didn't expect was the pressure I feel as I am in the middle of writing book two. It's not the same kind of pressure you feel when you are writing a book to snag and agent or publisher. I wouldn't even say it's more pressure, but it is different pressure. Instead of worrying about impressing a rather small handful of publishing professionals, I am worrying about impressing a huge group of teenagers! And I hope to impress them even more with my second book than my first . . . and my first hasn't even come out yet! I am stressing about increasing the approval of a bunch of unknown people who haven't even been impressed the first time!;) I don't have to get the approval of my editor, I have to keep it. *laugh* I don't even have to worry about impressing my agent anymore; she won't have to sell this book. (That's very funny to me.:))

This doesn't take the fun out of writing by any stretch. In some ways, I think it even makes it more fun. But I can feel a difference in the mindset I have when I write. A lot less pressure in some ways, and a lot more in others. I'm sure enjoying the process though.

I have to say, the thought that I will probably never have to send out a query again (I just can't see myself ever calling it quits with Jodi) is a very, very nice thought.)

Ciao!

Monday, January 07, 2008

And the Cogs Start Turning.

Today the publishing industry is officially back in business! Some publishers and agencies have been doing some work for the last few weeks, but today all of publishing is back to moving full speed ahead. Which is awesome for people like me who are waiting for things. Plus it makes the online world more interesting. Bloggers will start blogging again, message boards will resume normal activities, e-mailing will now commence!:)

At least until summer when everything will slow down to about three-quarters speed again.

And since this is now my job, I guess I have to get to work too. (Actually, that's nto entirely true. I got about 15,000 words written over the holiday break.) I am about 30,000 words into my sequel and my goal is to write at least 1,000 words a day unless I am actively working on edits for book one.

It's a little weird that I suddenly have a job. I never intended to have a career; I've always wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom . . . and I still am, technically. But now I have a job too. Bizarre.

So what are you doing now that publishing is back in full swing? Sending out queries? Finishing that novel? Are you working on edits too?

Ciao!